


my shallow patience and my tender skin could never free me like you did

by Chychyd



Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Light Bondage, M/M, Slice of Life, kind of, seth is still learning how to deal with his emotions, stefon helps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 12:25:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chychyd/pseuds/Chychyd
Summary: “I guess that’s the bad thing about being almost everyone’s boss, no one wants to tell their boss that they’re being a raging asshole.”Stefon leaned back and smiled. “Challenge accepted. I would love to be your personal kick in the ass whenever you need it. And if you ever need anything else ass related-”“Stefon!”





	my shallow patience and my tender skin could never free me like you did

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this fic was supposed to go in a whole different direction so bare with me as it took a life of its own.

Anyone who has ever known Seth Meyers, had the pleasure of working with him, or has ever been in the same room with him when the Trump administration rear their ugly faces on camera as they so often do- knows he has a temper. It can be an ugly temper -hot and sudden and if you didn’t know him well enough, just enough to give you whiplash. And it can also be a low-roaring boil of a temper. One that festers for days and only gets hotter as time goes on. You start by thinking he’s having an off day but by the end of the week he’s threatened to fire half of the writing staff and nearly fought the asshole who cut him off in traffic. 

 

It’s not his best quality, nor is it one that many have ever tried to tame. That is until Stefon Zolesky came into the picture.

 

The first time Stefon found out about his temper, Seth had been having a very bad week. It wasn’t unlike Stefon to just pop in and out of the studio when he felt like it. Everyone there knew him and he had his own pass that got him in anywhere that batting his eyelashes couldn’t. Seth’s office was one of his favorite hang out spots when everyone was busy because it was bigger than most offices, had its own bathroom, and the couch was just a little nicer. Plus, it was Seth’s, even if he wasn’t always in there. 

 

Stefon was just innocently rummaging through Seth’s things, like he does often when Seth isn’t around, when the door swung open harder than it usually does. “Stefon, what the hell are you doing?” It wasn’t a nice tone, but he didn’t yell. So Stefon didn’t take it too personally.

 

“Making sure there are no tracking devices in your stuff. Duh.” He was actually just seeing if Seth had any nicotine gum in his backpack, but that answer was more fun.

 

Seth sighed and dropped a stack of papers on his desk. Stefon took his feet off the desk before Seth could drop anything on them. “Can we not play this game today?”

 

Stefon put on his best puppy-like excited face. “I didn’t know we were playing a game. Are we roleplaying? Good cop, bad cop? Ooh, or am I the roughed up kid off the street who may or may not have witnessed the murder of an important political socialite and you’re the detective on the case who needs to kno-”

 

“ **_Stefon_ ** !” 

 

It was the first time Seth had ever outright yelled at Stefon. Stefon was so thrown aback he didn’t even know how to reply. “Either shut up or get out of my office.” Seth didn’t look at Stefon when he said it. He had both hands on his desk and had his head hung, staring down at the dozens of bullshit papers that still needed his attention.

 

A million thoughts raced through Stefon’s mind. The first few hundred thousand being self-deprecating and mostly about how he just fucked up his favorite and most important friendship. Then his senses and experience kicked in. He had an older brother, he knew how to deal with emotional older men on the edge of a breakdown. But he also knew everyone is different when dealing with their emotions, and the last thing Stefon wanted to do was make it worse by trying to console him in the wrong ways. So Stefon swallowed down the lump in his throat and told the mean voices in his head to shut up and scurried out of the office before he could make things worse.

 

Seth Meyers may have a bad temper, but he is great at saying he’s sorry. He learned long ago actually saying sorry doesn’t always fix the mess he’s made, but he finds other ways to make up for his bad attitude and destructive behaviors. A Seth Meyers Office Rampage is usually followed by free donuts in the breakroom or an email invitation for drinks after work on him. 

 

In Stefon’s case, it was a knock on his apartment door at 2 a.m with a bottle of whisky and some takeout. Stefon was still awake, of course and Seth looked like he was going on hour 36, which he confessed that was practically true as the two sat on Stefon’s loveseat and let Seth vent about his terrible week. His girlfriend dumped him for a younger, “more attractive” lawyer. Stefon internally scoffed but didn’t interrupt Seth’s venting. This week’s show was a wreck, they had gone through three different musical guests and their host just came down with the flu. And his neighbors upstairs just discovered their new, very loud, sex life that not only kept him up all night, but reminded him of how painfully not-sexual his life had become.

 

“Sounds like you need to get laid.”

 

“Yeah. Thanks for reminding me.” Seth deadpanned before taking a swig of his drink. “That only solves one of my problems for like, 20 minutes.”

 

Stefon laughed behind his hands before shaking his head. “Noo. Okay, here’s the plan. We get you laid, so you won’t be Mister Grumpy-Pants at work anymore. Get Fallon to host and the Lonely Island to play. Have a great show because everyone is funny and it will all work out, like it  _ always  _ does. And then you have loud, obnoxious sex in your apartment to let your neighbors know how it feels. Unless they’re into that, and in that case I can’t help you but I might ask for their number.”

 

“ _ Stefon _ .” They were both a little tipsy and Seth thinks to himself that it actually feels good to smile for the first time in a while. “You’re forgetting the part where I can’t just go out and get laid. I’m not you, I don’t have that superpower.”

 

Stefon gasped. “You shut your mouth, Seth Meyers! I could take you to any club right now and you’d have at least four tops fighting over you and like three bottoms, minimum. You were sculpted by gay gods, Seth Meyers. It’s a shame they forgot to flip the gay switch before you popped out.” Stefon sighed the last part, not in anyway hiding the way he looked over Seth’s whole body lounging on his couch. Damn, Stefon was a sucker for a man in jeans.

 

“Who ever said they did?” Seth mumbled into his glass. Stefon’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m just saying, maybe there’s more than one switch is all.”

 

“Seth Meyers!” Stefon exclaimed, giving Seth a friendly push. Seth erupted into a giggling fit.

 

“I’ve never told anyone that.” Seth was smiling hard. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just being around Stefon. Either way he felt a warmness inside him that hadn’t been there in a long time.

 

“How long have you known you were bi? Or pan? Or whatever you want to identify as.” Stefon was excited rambling. It got another laugh from Seth.

 

Seth shrugged his shoulders. “I always had little crushes on guys and girls growing up but I just never found a guy I clicked with. I fooled around a little in college, but I never felt like it was the right time, y’know?” Seth even surprised himself with the ease he felt as he talked about his sexuality. He wasn’t ashamed by any means, it just wasn’t something he had prepared to talk about tonight. Stefon nodded his head feverishly, hiding his wide smile behind his hands. Seth chuckled and sat his glass down. “So now you know.”

 

Stefon leapt at Seth. Not to kiss him or try to swallow him whole as he has so desperately wanted to since the day he met the blue eyed faux anchor, but to hug him with his full body as tightly as he could. “Thank you for telling me.” Stefon whispered. It meant more to him than Seth probably realized. It meant out of everyone on earth, Seth trusted Stefon, felt comfortable enough and accepted enough to share something so powerful and sensitive with him. 

 

Seth squeezed back, stretching the fabric of Stefon’s shirt between his fingers and inhaling the unique smell that Stefon always wore. “I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. You didn’t deserve that.” 

 

Stefon pulled back but kept his hands sturdy on Seth’s shoulders. “It’s water under the bridge, Seth Meyers. But I can’t promise I’ll walk away so easy next time.” He winked.

 

“Don’t. Seriously. Don’t let me act like that to you. Sometimes I think I need someone to put me back in my place.” He chuckled and looked down, biting his lip. “I guess that’s the bad thing about being almost everyone’s boss, no one wants to tell their boss that they’re being a raging asshole.”

 

Stefon leaned back and smiled. “Challenge accepted. I would love to be your personal kick in the ass whenever you need it. And if you ever need anything else ass related-”

 

“ _ Stefon _ .”

 

“-then you know where I am.” He winked and stood up from the couch. “Now,” He reached a hand out to pull Seth up. “Let’s get you laid.”

 

They didn’t, of course. Not because Seth didn’t look like a stupidly cute Dad-Twink sitting at the bar with his little hair flip and a borrowed shirt that was just a little too small for Stefon and  _ just right _ on Seth. Not because Stefon wasn’t a great wingman who brought him to a nice, mellow gay bar more known for their fantastic mozzarella sticks than any weird or obscene behavior and only introduced Seth to the gentlest, most trusted of men he knew there. But because Seth wasn’t ready for that, and that was okay. He never paid for a single drink the whole time they were that made him feel like it was his birthday or something, he confessed over a fit of tipsy giggles. He talked to a lot of nice guys who he thought looked amazing, but just weren’t what he was looking for. He preferred to stay close to Stefon and drink whatever was put in front of him and listen to Stefon tell fantastical stories he has shared with the various bar patrons and laugh at the crazy voices and impressions he pulls out of absolutely nowhere. Stefon never left his side if Seth didn’t want him to and never veered away with his own agenda, and for that Seth was entirely grateful, which he expressed over and over again on the subway ride home.

 

Seth was more than tipsy but not wasted. Just the nicest, lightest kind of drunk he can ever remember feeling. Stefon had an arm slung over his friend’s shoulders as the subway jostled them both around. Stefon laughed and pressed a kiss to the side of Seth’s head as he again thanked his younger friend for such a great night.

 

“You two make an adorable couple.” A girl mentioned as she was getting off at her stop.

 

“Oh-uh, we’re not- it’s we’re just-”

 

“Thank you!” Seth called after her, smiling wide.

 

“We’re not a couple, silly. You’re just drunk.” Stefon reminded with a chuckle.

 

“We’re a couple of fine dudes.” Seth slurred, trying to look cool while slipping on a pair of sunglasses.

 

“Wait, where did you get those?” Stefon laughed, trying to figure out where Seth just pulled them from. Seth took the glasses off and inspected them for a minute before shrugging and putting them back on.

 

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Seth asked after a few minutes of silence. The randomness threw Stefon off.

 

“Who said I didn’t?” Stefon hid behind a smug look. Seth lowered the sunglasses to give Stefon a look that said he didn’t buy it one bit. Stefon rolled his eyes but smiled before shrugging. “Feelings makes things complicated, Seth Meyers. Stefon does better on his own.”

 

“You can’t stop feelings.” Seth mumbled, playing with his hands, the sunglasses slowly slipping down his nose.

 

“No, you can’t. But that’s when you get a little help from your friends Jack Daniels and Mary Jane.”

 

“Sounds lonely.” The train squealed as it hit their stop.

 

Stefon grabbed Seth’s hand and started off the train. “It can be. Doesn’t have to be, though. Not all the time at least.” They didn’t let go as they ascended the stairs and made their way back into the city that never sleeps. Seth had gone quiet so Stefon squeezed his hand to get his attention. “I am exactly the person I want to be all the time. I have no one to ask and no one to answer to. If occasionally being lonely is the price to pay for that kind of freedom, I will always be a rich man.”

 

It was something that Seth hadn’t ever expected to come out of Stefon’s mouth, and for a second he questioned whether he was awake or not. But then Stefon smiled at Seth and the New York lights twinkled in his eyes and Seth felt sober again. At least for that moment when something just made sense. Everything made sense. Any question Seth ever felt like he had, suddenly felt answered.

 

“Want to get waffles?” Seth nodded and decided the conversation was over because he couldn’t argue with anything Stefon had said. 

 

Seth Meyers never expected to eat waffles drunk while watching the sun rise in a 24hr diner with Stefon, but he had never felt like anything was more right. Stefon was stretched across his side of the booth and looked perfectly at ease. He barely even looked tired. Seth on the other hand, was crashing quickly, going on nearly 48 hours without sleep and a stomach full of warm food. Stefon tossed a few bills on the table and suggested they get Seth home. He couldn’t argue, as much as he didn’t want this night to end.

 

He must of passed out on the cab ride home, because next thing Seth knew was Stefon saying his name and a hand running through his hair. He blinked a few times and realized they were stopped in front of his apartment. The sun had just barely risen over the Hudson, but it was at eye-blinding level. “You coming sleepy head?” Stefon sounded chipper as ever as Seth came to and he nodded before slipping out of the cab. Stefon thanked the cabbie loudly as he shut the door and ushered Seth inside. 

 

Seth finally regained some senses as he noticed Stefon unlocking his door. “When did you get my keys?”

 

Stefon hummed. “Somewhere between margarita three and whiskey-sour number four. You’re very easy to pickpocket, Seth Meyers. And in New York of all places..” He tisked. The door swung open to reveal Seth’s apartment. It was in a mild state of disarray that he didn’t normally keep it, but he hadn’t been in much of a cleaning mood this week. “Here we are, Meyers’ de… casa? I don’t know, I took French, not Spanish.”

 

“ Désolé, ma maison est en désordre.” Even sleepy, there were some things engraved into Seth’s brain. Like the amount of times his mother chastised him about how messy his room was in French in hopes speaking it around the house would make him remember more than how to ask if someone owned a dog. Unfortunately, it was mostly unsuccessful.

 

Stefon laughed and shook his head. “Ou as tu appris le francais?”

 

“My mom was a french teacher.” Seth elaborated. “You’d think growing up with your mother yelling at you in french would help you remember something, but I barely even passed her class.” He chuckled, flopping down on his couch.

 

“Oh nono, sir. We are getting you straight to bed. It is wayyy past your bedtime.” Stefon joked, yanking Seth up with a groan. He was a lot stronger than Seth expected. Seth yanked Stefon’s shirt off over his head and handed it out to give it back. Stefon stared at his friend’s torso for probably a beat too long before blinking and shaking his head. “Keep it. It looks better on you anyways.”

 

“Are you sure? I wasn’t sure if it was really my style..” Seth rubbed the material between his fingers. It was soft and kind of silky and a shade of purple he normally didn’t wear.

 

“Of course! Trust me, guys like you in that shirt. But then again, I think guys will like you in any shirt. Or no shirt. Definitely in no shirt.” He gave Seth a little more of an exaggerated once over. Stefon’s breath hitched in his throat just a little bit when Seth turned around to put the shirt in a hamper in the corner of the room.  _ Oh no… He has back dimples. _ “So, now that you’re home safe, and it’s like almost seven in the morning, I should probably get going.”

 

“No! I mean- you don’t have to- if you wanna, you can um, you can crash here, if you want. The subway is going to be slammed with everyone heading to work so you can stay here until it lightens up or whatever. If you want.” Seth was stupid half-drunk rambling because he was tired and his brain felt like scrambled eggs at this point but the only thing he knew for sure is that he didn’t want Stefon to leave. Not yet. Not after all the fun they had.

 

“It’s okay, Seth Meyers. You don’t have to do that for me. I would never want to intrude-”

 

“You’re not! Really. I’d like it actually.” Stefon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I had a lot of fun tonight- well, last night. And I’d just be nice to not have to go straight back to being alone, y’know?” Seth started feeling dumb really fast. Stefon didn’t want to stay, obviously. He shouldn’t keep trying to use his friend as some sort of happy machine because Seth is considerably more happy when Stefon’s around and-

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.” Seth smiled. “Um, you can crash on the couch if you want but it looks a lot more comfy than it actually is. But my bed is plenty big enough for the both of us and ten times more comfortable.”

 

“Ooh a chance to get into Seth Meyers’ bed? Don’t mind if I do!”

 

Stefon knew. He knew this little slice of heaven wasn’t going to last forever and he knew Seth was just lonely. Stefon liked knowing he was someone Seth could feel vulnerable around, but he’d be lying if there wasn’t a longing buried deep in his chest. Something a little more, a little more vulnerable than Stefon was willing to allow himself. He knew he was pushing boundaries; he had never been a cuddler because cuddling meant talking and talking meant feelings so it was always easier to put your pants back on and leave before any of that could happen. But this was different. There was no sex and no expectation. It was just Seth, a little sad and lonely and maybe still a little drunk, just needing a little something from someone to make him feel something. That Stefon could understand, that was something he could give.

 

But there was still a voice, an annoying sort of buzz in his brain that he tried his best to ignore. It made him want to simultaneously pull away and pull Seth closer. It made his friend’s body heat both unbearable and comforting. It made him feel, and sometimes that was the hardest thing for Stefon to let himself do. 

 

//

 

Taming Seth Meyers’ temper had become much easier by the year 2018. Not that Seth didn’t have his days where problems ran deeper than booze, sex, or cuddling, but Stefon had his tricks for those days too.

 

But more days than not, his husband was angry over frivolous things that had no deeper meaning than that of repressed frustrations. Some days it was the way his show was running, others it was his own insecurities getting the best of him, making him question his role as a boss or a husband or a father. Those were the easiest for Stefon, because he always knew how to take care of Seth when he gets like that. 

 

“Sometimes I just need to be put in my place.” Was the foresight of the century. Seth Meyers was many things, most of those things being extremely important and required a lot of responsibility. That meant it was no surprise that he would get into a routine of ‘I need this now and I expect it now.’ When it came to his everyday life. Sometimes it was hard to let it go.

 

Long story short, sometimes Seth Meyers really needed Stefon to tie him down and fuck the shit out of him to put him back in his place. And that, Stefon  _ loved  _ to do. 

 

Stefon could see this happening days before the event would actually take place. He would watch his husband, inspect his moods, keep track of the things he said and the way he went about his issues. And then they would usually fight.

 

Not a bad fight, nothing that risked the integrity of their marriage and nothing that would alarm the kids. But they would get into it about one thing or another. Maybe it was about something one of them said, maybe it was about how much one of them had been drinking lately. They were empty fights that just fueled what was to come. 

 

And when Seth would go to their room to cool down, Stefon would prepare. He’d make sure the kids were fast asleep and then pick out what he wanted to tie Seth up with. He liked using the silk rope off his robe because it never hurt but looked so so pretty around his husband’s hands. But there have been times where the situation called for something a little more rough. He had a special coarse rope that wasn’t painful, but just uncomfortable enough to keep Seth’s attention when he needed it, so he didn’t get so lost in what he was  _ getting  _ that he remembered what he should be  _ feeling _ . Stefon decided once to be a little more metaphorical during one of their sessions, by using the red tie Seth always wore on Update. When Seth saw it, he groaned, asked why it had to be  _ that  _ tie. Stefon made him wait for his answer. He made him wait and wait as he touched and kissed and distracted him. Right up until Seth had just about forgot about the tie. Then Stefon reached up and tied the knot just a little more, getting a wince out of his husband and told him, “The only thing keeping you from touching me is the only thing that holds you back from achieving everything I know you're capable of. It’s a part of you, Seth Meyers. Wear it, but don’t let it choke you.” 

 

There was even a time Seth was being extra bitchy so Stefon used his own handcuffs he loves so much on Seth. They ended up stopping before they had finished because Seth managed to pop his wrist out of place by wiggling around too much. Turns out Seth doesn’t like the pain as much as Stefon, but it was a learning experience. 

 

No matter how they do it, Stefon only has one goal. He never cares about getting off himself, or even how much they actually have sex. It’s the experience for Seth. It’s about getting Seth into the headspace he needs to be in. It’s about letting the man he loves relinquish the control and stress of his life. It means letting himself be vulnerable, which is only something Stefon can help him do. And it means everything to them both.

 

And as much as Stefon loves blowing out Seth’s back, it was the aftercare that he loves the most. It’s kissing the pale pink marks that hadn’t yet faded on Seth’s wrists and hands. It’s the slow kissing and sweet murmurs about how much they love each other. It’s holding Seth close and making him feel safe and protected and loved. It’s the best kind of high Stefon has ever experienced, and it’s something he gets to share with Seth and Seth only.

 

And Stefon will keep it a secret that one of his favorite favorite parts is waking up to the smell of bacon or eggs or pancakes or whatever his husband got up extra early to make for his family. He’ll be greeted with a coffee-flavored kiss and the kids already dressed for school. Seth will do a little dance around the kitchen as he smears peanut butter on toast for little Kevin. And Stefon just smiles at his little family, more perfect than he could have ever imagined for himself.

 

Then once the kids are gone for school, Seth will drape his arms around Stefon’s shoulders and pull him in for a longer, deeper kiss before asking if he can return the favor for the night before. And then Stefon will play dumb, fake worry that Seth will be late for work because he’s a big boss man with many responsibilities. Seth laughs and pushes his husband backwards towards their bedroom. “Exactly, I’m the boss, I get to choose when I want to go in for work. They can wait.” Then Seth will kiss Stefon again. It tastes like love, it tastes like home. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone catch that little John Mulaney reference I threw in there?? Comment if you did!
> 
> Title inspired by Sleeping World by Vancouver Sleep Clinic


End file.
